I don’t know what it is about the men I date, but turns out, some of my friends all want a chance to date them as well. At this point in my dating career, I just have to sit back and laugh because it has happened so many times now and all I can do is take it as a compliment that I tend to find and dispose of such highly regarded men.
This past New Years Eve was quite a blast, yet a total shit show. I drank heavily. Laughed a lot. Danced the night away and kissed several men at midnight... All ending with a promiscuous and explosive ending.
I had two ex boy toys in the room all the while my latest love interest was on my arm. For one of them, we are good friends, but he would take any chance he can get to get back into my pants. The other, aka - Stage 5 Clinger Larry is always in a hot pursuit. This time, however, he was not in hot pursuit of me.
Turns out, a friend of mine caught the eye of this clinger and he leached on. He was quite frazzled that I was there with another man and saw it as a great opportunity for “payback.” Little did he know, I just didn’t give a shit.
As the night was closing down, my friend apparently had a couple questions for me about Clinger Larry. I told her “Stay away from him! He’s a joke and total loser.” I don’t recall the dialogue very clearly but then I somewhat recall saying something to the nature of “Well, if you just want a one-night stand tonight, he is well hung.” How do I know this? HE told me since he was standing right next to ME hearing this entire conversation. Oopsy.
This whole dialogue was quickly forgotten until I received a text message from the other ex saying that the crazy guy my friend had met on NYE is coming out to visit her this weekend. I was confused and asked “what crazy guy and do I know him??” It all started to come together and I text Clinger Larry asking him “So you’re headed out of town this weekend huh?” He responded “I was wondering when you were going to ask about that... how’s your boyfriend?”
Just fine loser. Thanks for asking.
He proceeded to tell me how he had told my friend how much he cared about me and wanted to be my boyfriend, etc. etc., so basically banged her just to get a reaction out of me. Which he didn’t get because I was literally laughing my ass off. He thanked me for my ONE nice comment. I asked him what he as talking about and he just so happened to refresh my memory about the above conversation with my friend since he was there.
I started laughing and said "Wow. That's hilarious that she would still go home with you after I told her all of that." Clinger Larry's response was "No ... none of that is funny. You're an asshole for saying it in the first place!"
Well, little does he know, my friend is already dreading his visit because he texts her all day and night with random crazy texts. She just doesn't know how to disinvite his ass to come see her, so my only response to her ... "I told you so. Good luck with my sloppy seconds."