A woman’s dream is to meet a Larry who is intelligent, handsome, successful, funny and charming. Those are some of my requirements for my big catch. So when asked out on a date with the potential Prince Charming Larry who fit the bill, I was very happy!
I decided that our first date be casual so we went to my favorite breakfast joint in the neighborhood. Since I am somewhat a regular there, I wanted the girls behind to the counter to check him out and see what they thought!
I met him at the café and we stood in line to order our food and coffee. My ladies gave me that knowing look and smile: “Ohhhh.. This one is nice!” So far so good.
We went outside in the garden patio and found a corner table. Something about this Larry made me giddy like a little girl. I liked being around him and at some point he sat beside me to close the distance and I was good with that. Our food eventually came and since I’m not a breakfast person, I just ordered toast and coffee while Prince Charming Larry ordered a massive amount of Chilaquiles.
Next Scene: Fairy Tale is now over.
Once the food was placed in front of him, Prince Charming Larry transformed into a different person. Our conversation came to a complete halt. He proceeded to season his food with all the condiments on the table mixing, stirring and just making a complete mess on his plate and table. He picked up his fork and started shoveling food into his mouth with bits tortillas, red sauce and eggs flying everywhere. One even landed on my neatly pressed white shirt! He not only spilled food all over his clothes but on mine too. I was mortified that this put together man had table manners of a baboon!
I excused myself to go to the bathroom so I could clean up and Baboon Larry didn’t even acknowledge that I left. My girls were keeping an eye on me and saw everything.
“What a turn off”
“Gross, didn’t his mother teach him table manners?”
“ You’re done with this one right?”
Yes, ladies I am! One of my pet peeves are horrible table manners and it doesn’t matter how handsome and charming you are. Once a Baboon always a Baboon!
I headed back to the table and found Baboon Larry slouched in his chair, legs straight out…the only thing he didn’t do was put his hand in his pants like Al Bundy! That was it for me. I told him that there was an emergency at the office and had to leave pronto. “Please don’t get up. I’ve got to run. I’ll call you later.”
Exit stage get me the f*ck out of here!!
Xxoo- The Juggler