I Can Be the Dirtiest of Whores. Okay, not as dirty as my ex-friend we'll always and kindly refer to as Herpes (a story in itself!) but I can be pretty dirty.
Recently, it was Halloween. What did the rest of you get up to? Fortunately, I'm still single so I'm not tied down with G-rated activities like trick or treating and pumpkin carving.
I tend to get involved in activities like, er, apple bobbing ... Yeah, that's what we'll "call it."
I went with some of my fave friends to a Halloween costume party at a local bar. Their parties are always off the hook since the bartenders and servers dress all out and all their customers from over the years pile into their relatively small venue for one packed, awesome party!
I was a French Maid, but fondly referred to myself as a chamber maid instead. I arrived to the bar drunk already and proceeded to drink my own bottle of red wine. Since I wasn't driving--game on!
At one point, my friend and I used the restroom. We of course went into the empty men's room instead of waiting in the long-ass women's line. Once we finished up and returned to our spot near the bar, I realized I forgot my costume's greatest accessory, the feather duster, in the men's room. My friend advised me to go look there and off I drunkenly went!
...Fast forward 15-20 minutes and I returned to my friend and exclaimed: "I went to look for my feather duster but found a random guy's dick in my mouth instead!"
WOAH! WTF just happened?
Yep. That's right.
Needless to say, I was a hot mess and already have my New Year's resolution in mind for the coming year -- no apple bobbing with strangers in public restrooms.
The End.
Recently, it was Halloween. What did the rest of you get up to? Fortunately, I'm still single so I'm not tied down with G-rated activities like trick or treating and pumpkin carving.
I tend to get involved in activities like, er, apple bobbing ... Yeah, that's what we'll "call it."
I went with some of my fave friends to a Halloween costume party at a local bar. Their parties are always off the hook since the bartenders and servers dress all out and all their customers from over the years pile into their relatively small venue for one packed, awesome party!
I was a French Maid, but fondly referred to myself as a chamber maid instead. I arrived to the bar drunk already and proceeded to drink my own bottle of red wine. Since I wasn't driving--game on!
At one point, my friend and I used the restroom. We of course went into the empty men's room instead of waiting in the long-ass women's line. Once we finished up and returned to our spot near the bar, I realized I forgot my costume's greatest accessory, the feather duster, in the men's room. My friend advised me to go look there and off I drunkenly went!
...Fast forward 15-20 minutes and I returned to my friend and exclaimed: "I went to look for my feather duster but found a random guy's dick in my mouth instead!"
WOAH! WTF just happened?
Yep. That's right.
Needless to say, I was a hot mess and already have my New Year's resolution in mind for the coming year -- no apple bobbing with strangers in public restrooms.
The End.
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