It’s hockey season again and my company had a suite at Staple Center to spoil us with drinks, drinks and more drinks! My co-worker PIC (partner in crime) had hesitated on attending, but decided “what the hell, we don’t see the people we slave away with each day enough, so let’s spend our Thursday night with them too.”
So, PIC and I closed down the fort, after taking shots of patron with the bar staff, and decided to cross over to the Yard House at LA Live. The place was packed with hockey fans and not a seat was open for us to post up. We walked around the bar once and as were about to turn the corner, a guy spoke up and said “you can take this seat.”
In our drunken state, it was a sigh of relief. But… then it is also when things took a turn for the worst!!!
The group of guys was standing around us and had asked if we went to the hockey game. We said “yes, that is where we just came from” and they continued to tell us how they got kicked out by security because some guy was harassing their friend and they decided to yell back. They lost the battle and the security was a bit uncomfortable escorting them out because the “friend” had no arms and was about 4 feet tall. Lucky me - that’s who I was sitting next to and was fully equipped with “googly eyes.”
Out of the kindness of my heart, I engage in conversation until Armless Larry challenges “the best” nomination of my favorite Italian restaurant, claiming his was much better. Little did I know, this was his ploy to ask me out. I like to debate, but I fell into the bunker of awkwardness. He asked for my number and I hesitated, but knew he was the type that would call me and say “cool, I’ll call you so you have mine.” This was accurate. I can sniff those types out from a mile away.
All I had flashing in my mind was "how exciting would foreplay be?"
As if getting hit on by a 4 foot, armless man wasn’t bad enough; we then had some hillbilly from Kentucky sniffing our asses out. That part of the story is to be continued…
I don’t mean to an asshole to men with challenges, but I full-heartedly give them props for trying.