I fell in love with a chain-smoking, grappa drinking, fur-ball looking man. How does this happen you might ask? His sense of humor. Cute. Foreign. Smart. And Greek. HOLLER!
There was a whole community of them and I’m pretty sure they all had the same name and may have even been mixed in with some sort of mafia - maybe that’s what attracted me to him instead?! I have a thing for bad boys! Greek Larry was a blast. He and his friends met myself and my friends out one night and downed some shots, drank bottomless cocktails and took the party back to their house. Turns out Greek Larry lived with his brother - who’s family owned my favorite Greek restaurant.
My friend had already made her move by heading back to his brother’s bedroom and Greek Larry and I started to get busy on the couch. All I could taste was cigarettes in his mouth and decided to start kissing somewhere else - tossing his salad. The excitement got to him and out of nowhere, I felt a stinging sensation in my eyeball - he came in my EYE! I screamed bloody murder and ran to the bathroom to try and rinse it out. “YOU BASTARD” I yelled.
My friend came running out of the room naked to make sure I wasn’t cut or dead. She fell over laughing because I was crying “Greek Larry blasted my eyeball!!!” I told her to get her clothes and we are leaving. She refused. I sat on the couch, pouted, heard endless apologies and finally forgave him.
The next day, I go to work and couldn’t help but share this experience with my gay best bud and he said that it’s happened to him and that I should keep an “eye” out for any ulcers that may grow from infection. Like as if the poison ejaculated into my eye wasn’t bad enough!! Needless to say, I still have my eyeball, I still eat Greek salads, BUT I refuse to go down on a fully loaded gun.
XoXo Magnum Magnet