The past weekend was quite an eventful one for me. I somehow managed dates with three Larry’s – Larry Hip Hop, Larry Korean and Larry Sweetness. Larry Hip Hop made resurgence after a 2 week hiatus. I finally gave Larry Korean a date after 6 months. We’ll skip the details on those two for now, as they were pale in comparison to what happened with Larry Sweetness. I ventured out with Larry Sweetness on Saturday night. Initially, he told me that just the two of us were hanging out, but later, sent a text saying we would be hitting downtown with some of his friends. Meeting the friends I thought, "this is good." Upon arrival, Larry greeted me wearing a nicely pressed collared shirt that was clearly the victim of a paint splatter party! Who wears a shirt with neon splatter?! Was I dating the homeless? I ignored dwelling on the incomprehensibility, focused on his cuteness and moved on.
We make it upstairs to his apartment and I am greeted by 4 of Larry’s hot guy friends. Wow - 4! Had I died and arrived in hot guy Mecca? Little did I know -this was just the start. Ten minutes later, the door opens and 2 more, equally as hot, arrive. No way. Just before we leave, yet another, emerges from the bedroom. Was the apartment some lab for spawning hotties? Eight hot guys and me. I wanted to call all my girls and tell them I had found the only remaining man gold mine in L.A.
The night went well and I enjoyed Larry’s company while I tried hard to not focus on all the other hotties. We return to his apartment and get ready for bed. As I sit in Larry’s room, I notice through the cracked door, the roommates have decided to give me a show by walking around in their CK boxer briefs - low rise. It felt like it was my birthday with all these Chip-N-Dales outside the door!
After an hour of chatter, we pass out, or rather - I passed out. In the middle of my sleep, I begin to feel Larry poking me with his pecker. I asked "You can’t sleep?" Larry responded “No, hard to sleep when I'm rock hard.” In my head I thought "Sounds like a personal problem." Larry then goes on to tell me how comfortable he is with masturbation and keeps yapping. Soon, Larry was naked and was lying on top of me as we made out (please note I am still dressed in t-shirt and boxers). The next thing he did still has me in shock.
He pulls off from kissing me and starts to straddle me with his pecker which was too close for comfort. No way was I making out with his pecker, so I pull my head back. Larry then starts to massage himself right there in my face - while sitting high on my chest. Who does this?
As I lay there with a 3D view of the action, all I thought was "OMG! Cover your face, that thing might shoot!" Not knowing what to say or how to stop the action, as I had said “masturbation was natural" earlier, oblivious that I was being set up. Hands over my face and ready for the worst, I hear Larry make a noise and next thing I know his penis was in my mouth! UGH, How? WTF! You brute! I was so busy protecting my face, I didn’t notice when Larry lunged forward and my mouth trained to open and the next thing you knew, I had a penis in my mouth with no warning at all. It was said and done by the time I could react.
Maybe Sweetness Larry isn’t so sweet after all. I plan to renegotiate my Pavlov response for future sudden penis attacks to the mouth, instead of open: suck. I am retraining to open and bite to safeguard this occurrence in the future. Sorry, Pavlov.
He pulls off from kissing me and starts to straddle me with his pecker which was too close for comfort. No way was I making out with his pecker, so I pull my head back. Larry then starts to massage himself right there in my face - while sitting high on my chest. Who does this?
As I lay there with a 3D view of the action, all I thought was "OMG! Cover your face, that thing might shoot!" Not knowing what to say or how to stop the action, as I had said “masturbation was natural" earlier, oblivious that I was being set up. Hands over my face and ready for the worst, I hear Larry make a noise and next thing I know his penis was in my mouth! UGH, How? WTF! You brute! I was so busy protecting my face, I didn’t notice when Larry lunged forward and my mouth trained to open and the next thing you knew, I had a penis in my mouth with no warning at all. It was said and done by the time I could react.
Maybe Sweetness Larry isn’t so sweet after all. I plan to renegotiate my Pavlov response for future sudden penis attacks to the mouth, instead of open: suck. I am retraining to open and bite to safeguard this occurrence in the future. Sorry, Pavlov.
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