I recently went out on a date with a male ER nurse. Yes, a Focker. My very own Ben Stiller- nice looking, funny and makes a pretty good income to boot
The date was going well. A late lunch turned into happy hour and dessert. Finally a fun date after a string of duds. As we were walking off the dessert, we came across a Thai Massage Parlor. He said he could use a massage after a rough week. " Let's be spontaneous and get a massage. " OMG'osh...did this sound sleazy? After some hesitation and a lot of convincing on his end, I caved in. We were both led to separate rooms and the whole time Focker Larry kept saying, "Thank you for being such a sport. I really need this right now."
As I lay there getting worked on, I thought to myself, "Hmmmm.. this is different and what would my mama say?" I quickly shrugged the thought, closed my eyes and tried to relax as much as possible. It is Thai Massage and not Aromatherapy Treatment after all.
My petite Thai masseuse had finished working out the kinks on my body and left the room to give me a moment to relax and get dressed. After a few minutes, I suddenly felt masculine hands on my shoulders. Shocked, I yelled, " EWWW!! DON'T FRIGGIN TOUCH ME!!" Focker Larry had entered the room. WTF???
I screamed for him to leave. How dare he? I immediately jumped off the table, got dressed and when I left the room the ladies were shocked at all the obscenities spewing out of my mouth. They thought we were a couple and didn't understand. I guess that's a normal occurrence for couples? Seriously? I was not about to give anyone a "happy ending" at a massage parlor. I have always been hesitant about these places and its just confirmed my suspicions! I can afford my own massage and not get groped by Focker Larry.
Lesson Learned:
-Get a massage from legit places such as Burke Williams, Amadeus Spa, Aida Thibiant, etc.
-Never allow a date to gift you a massage no matter how convincing he may be.
-Male ER nurses are just as creepy as Sleazeball Larrys.
xxoo- The Juggler
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